What do you humans need to hear? What do humans need to be? what do humans need to feel?
In a recent dialogue with NewStories’ Illuminator Ally Joseph, Tenneson Woolf shared profound insights on what humans truly need during these challenging times. Tenneson, renowned for his work on the Art of Circle and author of “Gifts of Circle: Connection, Courage, and Compassionate Action,” offered wisdom about human connection, authenticity, and the vital importance of creating intentional community spaces.
The DNA of Connection
At the heart of Tenneson’s message is a powerful reminder: connection is in our DNA. This isn’t merely a poetic statement but a fundamental truth about human existence that many of us have forgotten.
“Connection is something that humans crave,” Tenneson explains. “We don’t always remember that we crave it, but when we’re given an experience to revisit or reawaken or reimagine with one another, so many times people just are grateful for that.”
Through his extensive work facilitating circles in various settings, Tenneson has witnessed countless moments of transformation. Participants in his circles often express sentiments like:
“We are so glad to be connected. We are so glad to know our colleagues in this way. We are so glad to know our community members in this way.”
Others marvel at discoveries made about long-time associates: “I didn’t know this about you. I’ve known you for so long, but I didn’t know this about you.”
These reactions affirm what Tenneson emphasizes—that this hunger for connection isn’t just a nice-to-have, but essential. As he notes, “Connection is the real work or it’s a real baseline for the real work.”
Authenticity: The Willingness to Be Seen
A key element of meaningful connection is authenticity, which Tenneson describes as “a willingness to be seen.” This requires vulnerability and courage to share the imperfect, unpolished, and sometimes messy parts of ourselves.
Ally shared a powerful experience from a breathwork workshop where one participant’s authentic sharing transformed the entire circle. When one person steps into their authenticity—sharing genuine grief or imperfection—it creates space for others to do the same.
Tenneson cautions against “programmatic” or “performed” authenticity, emphasizing instead the need for genuine spaces where people can simply show up and share what they’re experiencing:
“We just need places where we can show up and say a little bit of what we’re seeing… Our evolution actually depends upon our ability to show up. And boy, we better have some forms that help us do that.”
Becoming and Belonging
Throughout the conversation, Tenneson returned to twin concepts that frame his work: becoming and belonging.
“We have desires to become who we really are meant to be,” he reflects. This isn’t about motivation in a shallow sense, but about the deep human yearning to evolve into our authentic selves. Alongside this is the fundamental need to belong—to feel connected with others, even through temporary relationships.
These concepts take practical form in Tenneson’s facilitation work. He shared examples of how simple questions can transform group dynamics, such as asking corporate leaders, “What’s one thing that you love about your work?” Such questions presuppose that love exists and give people permission to speak from their hearts.
“All of a sudden we’ve animated love in the room and given permission to people to say, ‘Whoa, wait a minute. We don’t normally talk this way, but here’s one of the things I love.'”
The Waking We Yearn For
Inspired by John O’Donohue’s poem “On Waking,” Tenneson reflected on the awakening that many of us crave. In contrast to cultural messages that say “go to sleep” or “you can’t change things,” Tenneson advocates for awakening to new possibilities and different ways of being together.
“What are you waking to? What do you wish to be waking to? What possibility do we have before us now?”
Even in challenging times when possibilities seem limited, Tenneson suggests that waking can mean honestly acknowledging our fears and uncertainties while seeking the support, connection, and kinship we need to navigate them.
Circle as a Practice for Connection
Throughout the conversation, Tenneson and Ally discussed how Circle serves as a powerful practice for fostering connection. Tenneson’s work with various groups—from men’s circles to gatherings of pastors—demonstrates how this simple yet profound practice can create spaces for authentic sharing.
As Ally noted, Circle plays an essential role in the processes of “Re-storying, Re-Enlivening, Re-Patterning, and Re-Structuring” that NewStories supports. It helps communities bring new stories to life through connection and shared meaning.
Tenneson Woolf’s upcoming workshop series “Learn to Be Circle Here” offers an opportunity to experience and embody these practices of connection. His book “Gifts of Circle” provides accessible guidance for anyone seeking to create spaces of authentic connection in their communities, organizations, or personal lives.
In a world that often feels fragmented and disconnected, Tenneson’s insights remind us that our yearning for connection is not a weakness but a fundamental aspect of our humanity—and that through simple practices of coming together, we can remember who we truly are.